The End of an Era

I haven’t blogged in a while, but it seemed wrong not to write this post, being the Marvel fangirl that I am. This week marked the end of an era. What started with Iron Man in 2008 ended with Avengers: Endgame, at least for our original Avengers. I got to see the movie yesterday morning with my brothers, sister-in-law, and friends from church. I wouldn’t necessarily call this a review. More just my thoughts 24 hours later. So, beware, SPOILERS ABOUND. If you haven’t seen it yet, this is where you stop reading. Or, if you like spoilers, then, by all means, carry on…

Writing and Publishing Updates (i.e. Oh, the torture!)

This update has been a long time coming. (Wow, that sounds ominous. But don't freak, I'm not quitting writing or anything.) It's really just an update. You see, I've been getting an increasing number of messages lately asking about the status of Bitter Winter and how writing is going. In one word, it's basically . . . not. Yeah, this whole last year has been awful for writing and editing. Just terrible. Basically, torture. Yeah.

You see, when I moved out on my own, I suddenly had all of the pressures of adulthood dropped on me. Groceries, bills, insurance, vehicle issues. Everything. And then lots of family stuff. Nothing really bad or anything. Just life. You know, that thing that likes to take all of your best-laid plans and, with a puff of smoke, turn them into ashes? Yeah, life. I feel like mine has been a chaotic, disorganized mess that I haven't been able to completely sort out yet even though I've been on my own for a whole year. I'm hoping 2018 will be where I finally hit my stride. *feels LIFE lurking over my shoulder ready to strike*

I suppose I'm being somewhat dramatic, but that's how 2017 felt. I did almost no writing besides finishing up the surprise NaNoWriMo contemporary romance that leaped into my life late 2016. The fact that I've hardly written in a year is absolute torture itself. Writers can't not be writing. It leads to feelings of hopelessness and self-loathing. I'm not even kidding. This gif is basically what it has felt like to try to write for the past year.

Editing has been no better. I'm still working on the first chapter of Bitter Winter.

The. First. Chapter.

Ugh. More torture. More self-loathing. Here is actual footage of me trying to edit.

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Again, I'm being dramatic, but it's actually the truth. And I constantly beat myself up over it. With every month that passes, I feel the pressure of needing to get the next book out. And, of course, that just makes it all that much worse. I don't do well under pressure. Is it any wonder I've had a horrible case of writer's block?

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So, that's all the bad news. Here's the good news. I started writing today. Some of it was easy, some of it was hard. I've implemented a plan that I hope will help me stay on track and finish writing book six of Ilyon Chronicles this spring. That has been the biggest thing weighing on me. I need to get that book done.

As for Bitter Winter, I also did some editing today. I think once I get going on it, it will become easier. I have no idea when it will be published, but unless something catastrophic comes up, I will publish it this year. To answer the question I keep getting: Sorry, I don't have an actual publishing date yet. It's way too soon for that. But I will announce it the moment I know. :)

In the mean time, prayers are very much appreciated. Adulthood is hard. (Can I get an 'amen'?) Writing it not nearly as easy as it was when I would sit in my bedroom for hours on end at my parents' house and not have all the adult responsibilities I do now. It was more fun then, sadly. But, regardless of how long it may take, I'm going to keep on pushing forward. I will get these last two Ilyon books done. And I can't tell you how much all of your loyal support means to me, especially when the going gets tough. Thanks for sticking it out with me!

P.S. I nabbed the gifs from this awesome blog post that perfectly sums up being a writer. (Disclaimer: I have no idea who this author is, what she writes, or what else is on her blog/website. It just came up when I was searching through gifs.)

A Friday Post

Such an original post title, right? :P Anyway, I just had a couple things to share. First of all, Samara’s Peril is one of five finalists for the Realm Maker’s Alliance Award!!

I was so excited/shocked/stunned to see it! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who voted for it. Obviously, I wouldn’t even be in the running without you. I’m equally excited for the other finalists who are all friends/acquaintances. I have to say, I’m particularly happy for Tricia Mingerink. You know how I adore her books. Defy deserves this. ;) The final round of voting will begin on May 10th. Make sure to visit the Alliance Award page then and cast your votes for your favorites.

Item number 2 of this post: I gave my website a major overhall. As if I needed more work. But I like website work, so it was something fun to do. I added a fun FAQs section, plus shared my favorite books. So you can check it out here.

Item number 3: It’s May. I don’t know if anyone remembered, but May is usually when I have my annual fan art contest. It didn’t even cross my mind until like the last two days of April. I could have set it up real quick, but I decided to move it ahead one month to June. That way, the school year will be over and it might give everyone a little extra time to participate. Agree? So I will officially be taking submissions to the contest on June 1st. I’ll post more details closer to that date. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t start working on things now. ;)

And lastly, item number 4: Charlemagne is my forty-two times great-grandfather. :D I just had to throw that in there. My family and I have a lot of fun doing genealogy on Ancestry.com, and a couple of days ago I was tracing one of my mom’s lines back as far as I could and next thing I know I found a connection to Charlemagne and was able to trace the entire line. For a history buff like me, it was one of the coolest things ever. Everyone wants to find out they’re descended from royalty, right? ;)

What do you want to see in an author newsletter?

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve completely neglected my emailing list for a long time now. Adult life has kind of hit me out of nowhere and left me scrambling to keep up with everything. As I attempt to better organize, one of the things I’m trying to get going is a bi-monthly newsletter. That has led me to ask, what do readers want from an author newsletter? I’ve done a little research and have a few ideas, but since you all are the ones who will be reading it, I wanted to ask you. I’ve created the little survey below. In the first box you can give suggestions of what you would love to see in my newsletter. Below that, you can pick the ideas that are most interesting to you. I plan to have the first of my new newsletters out next month, so your help and suggestions are greatly appreciated! And if you haven't signed up for my emailing list, but would like to, you can do so here. :)

Life Got Real—Reflecting on 2015 and Looking Ahead at 2016

It wouldn’t seem right not to have a post celebrating the new year. 2015 was a crazy year. The best way I can describe it is that life got real. It was a pretty good year, but it totally overwhelmed me. You see, in 2015, I ceased being just a writer—I became a businesswomen, forced to juggle more things than I had the time to accomplish. During the last year, my Etsy jewelry business really took off and became more than I ever imagined it would be. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for that, since it is now a huge part of my income, but it is a LOT of work. From just before Halloween all the way through Christmas, I was spending 3-6 hours a day filling holiday orders. At first I was ecstatic. After about a month, I really started to dread every order notification. The work was overwhelming. All I wanted was to go back to being “just a writer.” Being an author and being an Etsy seller are two full-time jobs. Somehow, I have to manage both. This is why I haven’t made as much progress in getting Samara’s Peril ready for publication as I’d hoped. I’ve had to keep pushing back my hope-to-publish dates. I’ve spent little, if any, time on Goodreads and my forum. I’ve barely blogged. I burnt myself out.

But I am still incredibly grateful for the way God has provided the opportunities and success in my goal to be completely self-employed. I wouldn’t trade it. Now what I have to do is figure out a better way of managing it. That’s what 2016 will be about. I have to figure out exactly how to schedule time for both writing/publishing and Etsy. (Not to mention just living life!) I’ve already taken some small steps to do that. And for those of you desperately waiting for Samara’s Peril, it is coming! Now that the holidays are over and I have a chance to breathe, I’m getting back into editing this week. I am over half done. I’m hoping to get it to my beta readers this month yet. (Though I’m learning that I really can’t ever make definite plans like that. God might have different plans.) I am very tentatively hoping for a March/April release if all goes very smoothly, but sometime in May/June might be more realistic.

I have no idea what 2016 will bring, especially after last year. All I know is that organization will be the key to not getting so overwhelmed, and I’m not going to make too many set plans because things constantly change.

Favorites of 2014

I see many of my blogging friends have been writing posts of their top 10 books of 2014. Honestly, I’m not sure I even read 10 books this year. I probably did, but it just wasn’t a great year for reading. I had too much else going on. So, I’ve decided to do a different kind of list. Instead of just books, I’m going to encompass a variety of favorites and highlights that have really stood out to me from this past year. :)

Top 3 Books

3. The Royal Ranger by John Flanagan

I’m a big fan of the Ranger’s Apprentice series, so it was incredibly fun to revisit the world when I never expected there to be any more books.

2. A Cowboy Unmatched by Karen Witemeyer

I was so excited to read this story of Neill. It completely lived up to my anticipation. Who doesn’t love Karen Witemeyer’s Archer men?

1. Chasing the Lion by Nancy Kimball

This was definitely my top read of 2014. It quickly made its way into my top 3 favorite books/series of all time with The Lord of the Rings and Books of the Infinite. You can read my full review here. I can hardly wait to read book two. It’s at the top of my most highly anticipated future releases.

Top Movies

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

My brothers and I went to see this yesterday morning, and I thought it was spectacular. I pretty much loved everything about it . . . well, maybe not the sad parts. Yeah, I cried, like, five or six times. Basically on and off through the whole last half hour of the film. And I’ve never cried during a movie in the theater before. So that’s saying a lot. I thought it was a perfect end to The Hobbit Trilogy, and I absolutely loved how it so seamless connected with The Lord of the Rings. It’s definitely my favorite movie of 2014.

Dawn of Planet of the Apes

I grew up watching the old Planet of the Apes movies, so it has been really fun to watch the new ones. I recently watched this second movie for the first time with my family and thought it was an incredibly well done movie. One of the best I’ve seen this year.

Top TV Show

Scorpion

Oh my goodness, I cannot begin to tell you how much I adore this show. It’s amazing. I love everyone in it (which is unusual), though if I had to pick a favorite, I’d pick Toby. And I ship him and Happy so hard. ;) It’s a perfect show if you feel like you don’t quite fit in with “normal” people.

Top Writing Moments

The release of Resistance was a huge moment for me this year. It was my first release as Jaye L. Knight as well as the beginning of the biggest adventure series I’ve ever worked on. It was definitely frightening right at the beginning wondering how readers would like it, but it’s been an amazing experience so far.

Winning a Readers’ Favorite award was absolutely incredible. I never imagined getting to that point in my writing.

And, of course, there was the moment Resistance hit #1 in Christian Fantasy on Amazon. That was very exciting. I had no idea when I first published Resistance that I would hit all these milestones in the first several months.

Then there was finishing book 4 of Ilyon Chronicles, which had been giving me fits. I wrote 88,000 words in eight weeks between June and July. Definitely a big writing accomplishment.

And last, but certainly not least, one of the biggest highlights of the year was getting to know old friends better as well as gaining many new friends and fans. It has been an amazing experience, and I can’t wait to see how 2015 goes.

Assassins, Costumes, and Updates

I thought it was time for a bit of an update of sorts since my blog has been very quiet as of late. After my crazy busy writing schedule over the summer and then editing The King’s Scrolls, which I sent to my beta readers on October 1st, I’ve sort of taken a vacation the last couple of weeks. I’ve been really bad about doing any kind of updating or keeping up with emails. But I suppose I’ve needed the break. Especially since I’ll be diving back into editing TKS at the beginning of next month after I receive all my feedback. I keep telling myself every day that I should be working on book five. And a have . . . a little. But I keep procrastinating. It’s like when you go on vacation and then really hate going back to work afterwards . As much as I love writing, I kind of feel that way at the moment.

So what have I been doing in my downtime? Video games. I don’t really consider myself a big gamer because I just don’t have the time for it, but I do really like playing sometimes. I spent a couple of afternoons in the last couple weeks playing Minecraft with my brothers. We always have a great time doing that together and munching on gluten free chocolate chip cookies, which have become our official Minecraft snack. :)

I also played through Assassin’s Creed III, which I had purchased a while back but didn’t have a chance to truly play until now. (This is what happens when you grow up with only brothers and no sister. You get into all the action/adventure type games.) It’s probably my all-time favorite video game. I LOVE the historical aspect of it. As most probably know, colonial is one of my favorite time periods. And it actually filled my imagination with inspiration for the new trilogy I briefly mentioned on Facebook. The very first Assassin’s Creed game my brother played years ago was actually the first inspiration for this story that has been in my mind for years now. ACIII gave me all kinds of new ideas. I hope to work on it after I finish Ilyon Chronicles (which is why I should stop procrastinating and get to working on book 5 *sigh*).

Not only did ACIII provide some excellent story inspiration, but I completely fell in love with the outfit worn by the game’s (totally awesome) protagonist, Connor Kenway, and I’ve decided to recreate it. It has been years since I’ve put together a new costume, and I’m terribly excited about this one. It’s completely different from my usual fantasy costumes. I love the fact that it’s colonial inspired. And since I’ve always had a thing for Native American culture, I love how those aspects are incorporated into the outfit. I’ve got my pattern all printed and put together and all the buttons (about 50 of them!) ordered. Now I just need to get the fabric so I can actually start putting it together. I hope to go shopping sometime this week. This is the first time besides my reenactment clothing that I will really go all-out on a costume. I intend to put it together from head to toe. So we’ll see how it goes. I’ll definitely post some pictures when I finish it. That will probably take a while, but hopefully not too long. It’s really fun to do something creative beyond writing and jewelry. Now if only I had a nearby Comic Con to wear it to once I’m finished. I will end this post with a video because the violin music is awesome and it’s really cool to see another female version of this costume. :)

Depression

This isn’t at all one of my usual blog posts since it has nothing to do with writing. I don’t usually share things like this, but it really started weighing on me this morning. I take that as a prompting from God. In the last couple of days, my Facebook feed has been flooded with all the sadness surrounding Robin Williams’ death. Along with that have come a barrage of depression awareness posts. Almost all of these contain encouragement to those suffering depression that they are not alone. Now, this has nothing to do with God. I know I am never alone because I always have Him. But that’s not the point of this post. This has to do with people, since all these depression awareness posts on FB seem to be encouraging sufferers that there are people out there for them. This is all well and good except for one thing—in my personal experience, most people do not back up these words.

I have suffered with depression. Actually, I am currently struggling with it. I’ve never been suicidal, but I know what it’s like to want things to just end. I’m extremely thankful I have an understanding family and a couple close friends to help me when things get tough because I haven’t found much help or understanding from others.

There are two major problems I’ve come across when dealing with depression. Unfortunately, one of these problems comes specifically from fellow Christians. Many Christians seem to believe there is no such thing as depression—that if you’re being the faithful Christian you should be, God’s grace and love should be more than enough to make you happy and if you aren’t, you’re not trusting Him enough or focusing on the right things. All right, in ways, that’s true. As Christians we could be thrown into the deepest, darkest dungeon and still rejoice because of what Jesus has done for us. I completely believe that. But here’s where things go wrong. People seem to forget that, yes, we’re Christians, but we’re also human. We still struggle. Life. Is. Hard.

Even faithful Christians fall. When trials add up, it weighs you down. Things get bleak. It can be hard to see any light. Trust me, you can feel alone even when you know with all your heart God is still there. As a sufferer of depression, I can tell you this doesn’t mean we’ve given up or we’re just wallowing in our pain. I fight. I fight hard to battle my depression. But that doesn’t mean I’m instantly victorious. It can take a long time to reach the other side of the fight.

It is a real fight. And I can’t tell you how much it hurts and tears you down when other Christians act like it’s not or that you’re sinful or just not trusting enough or not focusing on what you should be. I’ve sat in on a very real conversation and listened to this kind of talk between Christians. Looking back, I can only shake my head. No wonder some people feel so alone. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we should be the most compassionate, uplifting, and encouraging when we see each other struggle. And because of this, we can also be the quickest to tear each other down because it hurts more not to receive help from those you’d most expect it from. Just because someone might struggle in a way different from your struggles, doesn’t mean their struggle is any less real or their faith any weaker.

Then there are the people who look at you from the outside and have the reaction of, “What could you possibly have to be depressed about?” Talk about a knife right to the heart. I’m the kind of person who will wear a big smile on the outside and be falling apart inside. My life looks pretty good. I love my family, my parents welcome me still living at home, which is awesome because we have a great house in the country, I’m pursuing my passion in writing. And it truly is a great life. I love it all. But whose life is ever perfect? No one’s. We life in a fallen world, after all. Everyone has struggles. I have deep, aching things inside of me. I have dreams that haven’t been fulfilled. I’ve had to watch my family go through some very painful trials. Many of these I’m still waiting for God to show me an answer to. Just because a life looks perfect on the outside, doesn’t mean that inside the heart and mind of that person, things are going well.

So please, consider what a person may be going through privately before passing judgment or jumping to conclusions. It is these sorts of attitudes and reactions from others that can make people who are struggling feel alone and without hope. I can’t put into words how thankful I am for my faith. It will always be the number one thing that gets me through my hard times. But there are people out there who do not know God and do not have His power in their lives. In that case, it is up to us to shine His light. How can we do that if our first response is to judge or dismiss the struggles of others?